WHEN YOU NEED ME AND YOU DON'T WANT ME, I WILL STAY BUT WHEN YOU DON'T NEED ME AND YOU WANT ME, THEN I WILL GO

Saturday, May 21, 2011

dead but alive~



I saw me at a grave yard

standing at the gateaway

my hair falling at my face

and the breeze blowing them away

my dress hanging lose below my knees

I almost looked like an abundent spirit

I saw your car pass by

but you did not stop for a visit

I looked at you

until I could see u no more

a tear rolled down my face

in my hand I held a phone

I looked at the screen

blank

then I saw me smile

I saw myself turn back

and walk for a while

and she vanished

leaving just the phone behind

I ran to pick that up

I checked the call list

no call

an empty inbox

just you no.saved with your name

and 365 messages in the drafts

a message for each day

I wondered why had I not sent them

I begun to read them all one by way

and I realized

two things

that I was unconditionally

in love with you

and second

I was dead

but still my spirit wandered

in hope that one day

you might miss me

and try to know where I was

you might try to contact me

which you seemed not to

you did not remember my birthday

may be you have forgotten me

may be you need me no more

i felt so angry

and so sad

how could you be so rude

I almost crushed the rose

I had brought for myself

realizing this I simply

kept it on my grave

bid myself good bye

and raced towards your home

you had just reached home

your wife greeted you at the door

your daughter came running and

insisted you to take her in your arms

sunny came running and hugged you too

you kissed them on their forhead

and moved in

you are so happy

i don't know why but

your happiness was making me

more uncomfortable

how could you forget me so easily?

I was about to burst out of anger

It was then I noticed you

walk out in your balcony

where you had grown a rose plant

it had boomed a new rose in it

you kissed it and said happy birthday

sweetheart

no

no you hadn't forgotten me

you remembered me

I wished to run back to me and tell me

that I did not need to cry

and there on the other end

I noticed myself

smilling

and then I understood

why had I smilled then

you had kept me alive all

these years

you dialled my numbers

and then erased it

you simply wished that

I must happy wherever I am

with my family

family?

Hello

don't you know

I am somewhere far away

very far from family and friends

alone

and yes i miss you

and you think i would

be happier without you

you miss me too,don't you?

they say time is the best healer

you will be ok

soon

you will be ok

soon

you will forget me


and I will

then I will

die for real


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